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best friend, thank you.

All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship



This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be emptied again
The seed I've received I will sow



Hillsong:Desert Song


A while back my best friend told me to listen to this song because she thought it was beautiful. I did and I agreed fully. My list of favorite Hillsong songs grows weekly, I think. Tonight, it came on one of my Genius mixes on itunes and the last verse struck me like I'd never heard it before. 


"I know I'm filled to be emptied again..." 


This is something that's been on my heart a lot lately and i think it is one of the most beautiful parts of life. We are filled to be emptied to be filled and so on and so on. It seems like each time I am emptied a little more of me is removed so that I can be more filled with God. I've got a long way to go so I will continue to be emptied to be filled.


Because of God's faithfulness to provide and continuously fill me, 


I have a reason to sing.
I have a reason to worship.

Comments

  1. this song is so wonderful. i always do enjoy reading your blog :)

    ReplyDelete

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An ode to my wiser self

I've been thinking about blogging a lot lately. Well, writing, rather. I used to write a lot. It was therapeutic and life giving for me. It helped me to be in a constant state of process where I was not just taking in life but searching for and digging for meaning. It kept me grounded and real, for lack of better word.

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Here is an ode to my younger (and probably wiser) self:


Welcome to The Chronicles of a Confused Citizen.

Here I am, residing in the country I was born in, living the life I knew from my birth to year 22.

It doesn't quite feel right, though.

Recently, as I found myself living in Mongolia, I started feelin…

bring it on, world.

October 26, 2011.

That is the day I last wrote a blog. That's not the day when my life changed but it is a day that I can recognize as one of the last ones when I knew who I was and what my purpose was.

I'm not generally a quitter. Sure, sometimes I quit on books or I quit on small projects but in life, nope. I  try hard at most things, usually right until the end. I won't say that quitting is not a thought that meanders through my being when something gets tough but I have come to learn that when I stick things out I come out having learned a thing or two.

But I did quit. I quit a big commitment. I said I would live in Washington, DC and I would do my best.

I tried. I also had my very first panic attack, too.

It was too much. I couldn't think or breathe. I couldn't cope with the devastation I felt for leaving Mongolia early that March morning. I couldn't cope with no one understanding what Mongolia had meant to me and how it had changed me right down to my bo…