A couple of nights ago, I went to look out the window at 10 pm at the fresh snow. When I looked out, I saw a man sweeping up the snow off the sidewalk and out of the street.
It was 10 o'clock. That meant the sun was long gone (and had been for nearly 5 hours). Which means, it was cold. Really cold.
Here I am, thinking how annoying it is to move the outlet strip from the stove in the kitchen, to the heater in the bedroom, and this man is sweeping snow. He is sweeping the snow so that I don't slip on it when it freezes, which I did, (rather ungracefully too) and so cars don't slide when they drive across it.
A funk is quite an understatement for what I've been in as of late.
My computer crashed, I got food poisoning for the second time, and I burnt myself on the hot water pipe in the bathroom.
Seriously, what is wrong with me? I've decided it is time for my little (BIG) pity party to end.
On Christmas day, we went to visit some Hospice patients. The first family I visited had a 12 year old boy with Cerebral Palsy. He, his twin, and his father were all laying in a twin bed under a few blankets, and there was no heat.
As we sang Christmas carols, the father began to cry, my tears were not long after. I did my best to regain my composure as we walked back to the car. I was a mess.
Reality check, Holli.
Somehow, after that, I'm still capable of being so utterly selfish it is disgusting. The self-pity train sure has been making it's way around my heart and head, a lot.
Thanks be to the Lord for being so patient and persistent with me, though...
"...Moses said, 'Please show me your glory.' and he said, 'I will make all my goodness pass before you and will proclaim before you my name 'The Lord.' And I will be gracious to whom I will be gracious, and will show mercy on whom I will show mercy. But,' he said, 'you cannot see my face, for man shall not see me and live.' And the Lord said, 'Behold, there is a place by me where you shall stand on the rock, and while my glory passes by I will put you in a cleft of the rock, and I will cover you with my hand until I have passed by. Then I will take away my hand, and you shall see my back, buy my face shall not be seen.'"
Exodus 33:18-23
The light of the Lord is always here, around me. If I am lucky, I will get to see His back. I am not sure how often I am paying attention enough to see even that.
I hope my honesty finds some grace as I am learning to live completely in the presence of the Lord.
I am thankful that God is showing me His glory and that somehow He still loves me despite ALL of my undeserved-ness.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
the year without a santa...
the Mongolian Christmas edition of quirks and joys:
1. We went to the black market on Monday looking for some vegetables and a kitten. There were plenty of puppies but we knew we couldn't get one because they get too big. So I decided to tell the man standing next to us, trying to give me his business card about pets, that we wanted a cat. He started making a small motion with his hands. And finally he said "mini cat." I was like, "Yes!! a mini cat!" He asked us if we wanted a man or woman mini cat, got our number, made a phone call, then he said our cat would be there in 2 hours.
Not even 10 minutes after we left, I got a phone call saying, "Your mini cat has arrived." So, we turned around and got ripped off, I'm sure. We payed 13,000 tugrugs for him, that's around 10 dollars. The guy pronounced to everyone around "arron-goro" (13) as if to tell the world how much he got from us. It was hilarious.
We named him, Dobby, after the house elf in Harry Potter. He is nuts, like all "mini-cats" and we really enjoy his energy. He is already spoiled and sleeps right in the middle of us in the bed we share :)
2. I view walking outside for any amount of time as free botox. I can't feel my face while I'm outside or for a period of time after I come inside.
3. As I've mentioned before, I heard that the Celsius and Fahrenheit scales meet at -30 degrees. The scales have been kissing each other quite frequently as of late. And they say, it's only going to get colder.
4. I drink tea like a Mongolian now. I can't keep the tea bag in my mug for too long because there is like a flavor explosion if I do. My tastes buds might be dying. I can now get 3 cups of tea from one bag of tea.
5. I ate horse meat for the first time recently. We have heard that horse is their winter meat. The best (and scariest) thing about eating horse meat is that I didn't hate it.
6. While teaching my English class about and, but, or and food items. I learned that many Mongolians "...do like horse meat, but do not like chicken." That seems impossible.
7. Christmas in Mongolia is an oxymoron. They call the Christmas tree a New Year tree. They have NO idea who Santa is and they really don't know what exchanging gifts is about. It is so weird because they do have some Christmas trees up but it's just like a big "Sike!!"
It is so difficult for me to wrap my head around the fact that I live in a place that has never heard about Santa and even harder to comprehend that some people have never even heard the name Jesus.
As hard as it is to be here during the Christmas season, it is really beautiful to get to share with them and teach them about a season I love. The moment when I can help someone understand Christmas and all of it's incredible meaning is a life-changing moment for me.
I pray that your Christmas is filled. Please spend time with your family for me and enjoy every beautiful part of this season.
Joy to the world.
1. We went to the black market on Monday looking for some vegetables and a kitten. There were plenty of puppies but we knew we couldn't get one because they get too big. So I decided to tell the man standing next to us, trying to give me his business card about pets, that we wanted a cat. He started making a small motion with his hands. And finally he said "mini cat." I was like, "Yes!! a mini cat!" He asked us if we wanted a man or woman mini cat, got our number, made a phone call, then he said our cat would be there in 2 hours.
Not even 10 minutes after we left, I got a phone call saying, "Your mini cat has arrived." So, we turned around and got ripped off, I'm sure. We payed 13,000 tugrugs for him, that's around 10 dollars. The guy pronounced to everyone around "arron-goro" (13) as if to tell the world how much he got from us. It was hilarious.
We named him, Dobby, after the house elf in Harry Potter. He is nuts, like all "mini-cats" and we really enjoy his energy. He is already spoiled and sleeps right in the middle of us in the bed we share :)
2. I view walking outside for any amount of time as free botox. I can't feel my face while I'm outside or for a period of time after I come inside.
3. As I've mentioned before, I heard that the Celsius and Fahrenheit scales meet at -30 degrees. The scales have been kissing each other quite frequently as of late. And they say, it's only going to get colder.
4. I drink tea like a Mongolian now. I can't keep the tea bag in my mug for too long because there is like a flavor explosion if I do. My tastes buds might be dying. I can now get 3 cups of tea from one bag of tea.
5. I ate horse meat for the first time recently. We have heard that horse is their winter meat. The best (and scariest) thing about eating horse meat is that I didn't hate it.
6. While teaching my English class about and, but, or and food items. I learned that many Mongolians "...do like horse meat, but do not like chicken." That seems impossible.
7. Christmas in Mongolia is an oxymoron. They call the Christmas tree a New Year tree. They have NO idea who Santa is and they really don't know what exchanging gifts is about. It is so weird because they do have some Christmas trees up but it's just like a big "Sike!!"
It is so difficult for me to wrap my head around the fact that I live in a place that has never heard about Santa and even harder to comprehend that some people have never even heard the name Jesus.
As hard as it is to be here during the Christmas season, it is really beautiful to get to share with them and teach them about a season I love. The moment when I can help someone understand Christmas and all of it's incredible meaning is a life-changing moment for me.
I pray that your Christmas is filled. Please spend time with your family for me and enjoy every beautiful part of this season.
Joy to the world.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
smiling.
Just a brief catch-up...the H1N1 lockdown is officially over!
Now we are working at our respective churches. I am teaching a lot of English (which bothers me some) to children, youth and adults. I had forgotten how much I enjoyed teaching. Also, I am getting to join in with some of the woman's ministries they have at the church. There is a craft class, where I learned to make felt from sheep's wool, and a mother's class. And I am going to start working with the Kindergarten some as well.
From all I have gotten to experience thus far I think I am really going to enjoy working at my church.
The church is called Gerelt UMC, which means light.
(Liberia, Africa)
(Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia)
Maybe you can tell, I have been thinking a lot about the connection between smiling and light lately.
Ever since I arrived in Mongolia I have realized just how much I appreciate smiling. I know that I am from the south and there is a certain "charm" that is somewhat ingrained in my spirit, there is just something deeper about smiling for me, though.
I don't think I even truly had a grasp of what Mother Teresa's quote about smiling meant until recently. The other day I was talking to my mom about the ways we connect with people, sometimes people who cannot speak the same language. When I was talking to her it was like the words just flowed out of fingertips (I was chatting with her on skype) "Peace begins with a smile." And then I got it. Our smile is this little gift, a peace offering that we can offer to anyone at any time.
When we smile we are expressing, claiming even, that we are about peace.
"Peace [really does] begin with a smile."
I have realized how grateful I am for some commonality with people I can hardly communicate with. Although Mongolians are not expressive with their emotions-when I see one smile, I know we can understand each other.
"Everyone smiles in the same language. And for that, I am so thankful"
But I think I realized the real deepness of smiling when I was having a conversation with the lay leader at my church. She was telling me about when she became a Christian. She said her friends told her that her appearance changed--her face was softer. They said that she had a new joy and that she seemed different.
"Woah!" I thought. Becoming a Christian literally changed everything about her. She radiates the light of Christ. When she smiles, and that is a lot, it is holy and wholly from Christ. The light that radiates from her smile is deep and joy-filled, coming from knowing Christ
How incredible that was for me to stop and think about. Her smile was so deeply connected to the light of the Lord.
In my very Christian influenced life I don't think I allow for His light and my smile to be so intertwined. I want my smile to echo this truth:
"Those who look to Him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed."
Psalm 34:5
I don't think this verse is actually referring to smiling but, for me, it now has a new meaning.
When I am looking to Christ, His light is able to radiate in me.
And that is the light that is able to "Light up the darkness."
I don't think it is by any coincidence that the meaning of my church's name is light. The word light and the ideas surrounding it are taking up inhabitance in my soul.
(Gerelt UMC, UB, Mongolia)
May we often remember how deeply our smiles are connected to His light. May we always look to Him so we, too, can be radiant.
Now we are working at our respective churches. I am teaching a lot of English (which bothers me some) to children, youth and adults. I had forgotten how much I enjoyed teaching. Also, I am getting to join in with some of the woman's ministries they have at the church. There is a craft class, where I learned to make felt from sheep's wool, and a mother's class. And I am going to start working with the Kindergarten some as well.
From all I have gotten to experience thus far I think I am really going to enjoy working at my church.
The church is called Gerelt UMC, which means light.
"Peace begins with a smile."
-Mother Teresa
(Liberia, Africa)"Everybody smiles in the same language. And for that, I am so thankful."
-Jena Lee, Hope in the dark
-Jena Lee, Hope in the dark
(Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia)"Light up the darkness."
-Bob Marley
-Bob Marley
"Those who look to Him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed."
Psalm 34:5
Psalm 34:5
Maybe you can tell, I have been thinking a lot about the connection between smiling and light lately.
Ever since I arrived in Mongolia I have realized just how much I appreciate smiling. I know that I am from the south and there is a certain "charm" that is somewhat ingrained in my spirit, there is just something deeper about smiling for me, though.
I don't think I even truly had a grasp of what Mother Teresa's quote about smiling meant until recently. The other day I was talking to my mom about the ways we connect with people, sometimes people who cannot speak the same language. When I was talking to her it was like the words just flowed out of fingertips (I was chatting with her on skype) "Peace begins with a smile." And then I got it. Our smile is this little gift, a peace offering that we can offer to anyone at any time.
When we smile we are expressing, claiming even, that we are about peace.
"Peace [really does] begin with a smile."
I have realized how grateful I am for some commonality with people I can hardly communicate with. Although Mongolians are not expressive with their emotions-when I see one smile, I know we can understand each other.
"Everyone smiles in the same language. And for that, I am so thankful"
But I think I realized the real deepness of smiling when I was having a conversation with the lay leader at my church. She was telling me about when she became a Christian. She said her friends told her that her appearance changed--her face was softer. They said that she had a new joy and that she seemed different.
"Woah!" I thought. Becoming a Christian literally changed everything about her. She radiates the light of Christ. When she smiles, and that is a lot, it is holy and wholly from Christ. The light that radiates from her smile is deep and joy-filled, coming from knowing Christ
How incredible that was for me to stop and think about. Her smile was so deeply connected to the light of the Lord.
In my very Christian influenced life I don't think I allow for His light and my smile to be so intertwined. I want my smile to echo this truth:
"Those who look to Him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed."
Psalm 34:5
I don't think this verse is actually referring to smiling but, for me, it now has a new meaning.
When I am looking to Christ, His light is able to radiate in me.
And that is the light that is able to "Light up the darkness."
I don't think it is by any coincidence that the meaning of my church's name is light. The word light and the ideas surrounding it are taking up inhabitance in my soul.
(Gerelt UMC, UB, Mongolia)May we often remember how deeply our smiles are connected to His light. May we always look to Him so we, too, can be radiant.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
louis and the baby lambs...
A while ago we saw a rather large building (of sorts) being erected in the main square of town (Sukhbaatar Square). We thought it was strange but then they started putting the letters on it...LOUIS VUITTON. Then we knew it was strange.
This, I am certain, is a very elaborately touched up picture. But telling nonetheless.
Every time I see the Louis Vuitton store here, I am amazed and so confused. I'm pretty sure that no one here really has the money to be spending on Louis paraphernalia.
Recently, Erin was doing some research about LV and stumbled upon this site that talks about the fashion show (complete with red carpet) that was held in the building pictured above.
Check it out.
I personally enjoy the baby lambs, they bring just the right touch of Mongolia.
Despite this ridiculous quirk, I am really beginning to like it here. Today marked 7 weeks of living in Mongolia.
That, I can hardly believe.
This, I am certain, is a very elaborately touched up picture. But telling nonetheless.
Every time I see the Louis Vuitton store here, I am amazed and so confused. I'm pretty sure that no one here really has the money to be spending on Louis paraphernalia.
Recently, Erin was doing some research about LV and stumbled upon this site that talks about the fashion show (complete with red carpet) that was held in the building pictured above.
Check it out.
I personally enjoy the baby lambs, they bring just the right touch of Mongolia.
Despite this ridiculous quirk, I am really beginning to like it here. Today marked 7 weeks of living in Mongolia.
That, I can hardly believe.
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